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“Toxic positivity seems well-meaning, but it feels negating to the person receiving it,” says Jenn Kennedy, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Riviera Therapy in Santa Barbara, California.
The Negative Impacts of Receiving Toxic Positivity
A person receiving toxic positivity may feel like their reality isn’t being acknowledged, which can feel frustrating, confusing or dismissive, according to Dr. Kennedy. “It’s like the person doing it is uncomfortable with witnessing the pain or upset,” she adds. “So they are trying to neutralize it or reduce it through their response.”
Toxic positivity may impact an individual on the receiving end in several ways, according to Dr. Engle, including:
- Feeling like one’s own emotional experience is invalid
- Diminished effective coping
- Internalized self-stigma or blame around negative emotions
- A false sense of control over life’s difficult circumstances
- Limited learning and understanding
Overall, toxic positivity may negatively affect mental health—of either the person on the receiving end or the person eliciting it—because it can actually intensify negative emotions, as it tends to make an individual perceive their feelings or coping strategies as wrong or bad, or it may make them feel like they shouldn’t feel a certain emotion in the first place, says Dr. Engle.
For example, Dr. Engle points out that in the case of clinical depression, people experiencing a degree of low mood often feel guilty about experiencing sadness or difficulty mustering the motivation needed for work or socialization.
“When support is sought, and an individual hears toxic comments like ‘just stay positive,’ it invalidates their current emotional experience of sadness, and stands to limit opportunities for more genuine closeness and understanding that stems from vulnerability and authentic connection,” Dr. Engle explains.
She adds that toxic positivity can also suggest that coping with depression “should be easier” or that one can control depression by merely thinking positive thoughts.
The Negative Impacts of Practicing Toxic Positivity
People practicing toxic positivity can feel negatively impacted by it, too, according to David Tzall, Psy.D, a licensed psychologist in New York City. Dr. Tzall says they may feel a constant pressure to maintain a cheerful facade, leading to emotional suppression, causing stress, anxiety and emotional burnout.
“It fosters a sense of inauthenticity, disconnecting them from their true selves, and may prevent them from addressing underlying issues, potentially exacerbating long-term stress,” explains Dr. Tzall. “Moreover, the pressure to conform to this unrealistic standard can isolate individuals, discouraging them from seeking the support they need from others.”
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